Matt

Matt (a.k.a. Sexual White Chocolate) - Keyboards & Rhythm Guitar

Matt was born as a result of a test tube experiment gone wrong back in the late 1960s (someone in the lab left it out of the fridge too long). Shunned by normal society, Matt was forced to take refuge at the School for the Overly Dorky in Norway. There he studied under the tutelage of some of the greatest piano and keyboard players in the world--including his eventual nemesis, Marie Osmond.

Matt eventually returned to the United States and during high school he helped form the critically acclaimed band Missing in Action. Matt originally was going to play keys for MIA, but his incredibly well-formed afro kept making his head topple forward onto the keys at inopportune moments. So instead, he took up the guitar in the hopes of "scoring with some of those high school babes."

After a stressful first gig playing a Christmas show for a senior citizen center, MIA broke up as a result of several rapidly expanding egos. Virginity intact, Matt returned to the study of the piano in the hopes of "scoring with some of those less-picky high school babes."

During college (what he remembers of it), Matt inadvertently joined another band, Just Grab The Sink--a group of local musicians that would get together annually to play one gig at a house party. For most of the shows, JGTS had no lead singer. On their farewell gig, they had no guitar player. No one noticed. Matt stayed on, however, in the hopes of "scoring with some of those less-picky, non-English-speaking high school babes."

It wasn't until many years later that Matt was approached with an irresistible offer--to join the dance/rock cover band Decades and play the Three County Fair, between the tractor pull runs. With an offer like that, Matt left his job at the toothpaste factory and joined Bob and Jeff on a whirlwind adventure spanning seven years. Mostly though, he joined up with the intention of "scoring with some of those less-picky, non-English-speaking, visually-impaired high school babes."

In 2005, Matt finally noticed that Jeff was actually a guy, and recommended they seek out a female singer to diversify their sound. After conducting several thousand auditions of singers from all parts of the globe, the group selected Kate to join them in their new endeavor. Kate had scored admirably during her audition--especially in both the lightning round and the swimsuit competition. Factory Defect was born.

And the rest, they say, is history.

Learn some trivia about Matt--impress your friends:

Astrological Sign: Pisces

First Car: 1975 Plymouth Fury

Shoe Size: 13

Favorite Candy: Gummy Bears

Number of Broken Bones: Four

Number of Years At The Same Barber: 31

Achilles' Heel: Redheads

Little Known Fact: Cannot blow a bubble with bubble gum

Pet Peeve: When the toilet paper goes over the top instead of underneath the roll the way God intended

Favorite Illness: Monkeypox

Favorite Chinese Proverb: "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok."

You can email Matt at matt@factorydefect.net